Last week I wrote about how impossible it is to know what kind of person I would be if I had grown up in a completely different environment. While I may not be able to pinpoint my unlived lives, I do know what kind of person I would be now if I decided to alter my life. For instance, let us say that in an unlived life of mine, I became an atheist. I do not know what kind of atheist I would have become. However, I do know what kind of atheist I would be now if I decided to stop believing in God.
I have spent much time pondering what I would believe if I became convinced there was no God. I have looked at this scenario many times. Since I have thought about this on a number of occasions, I have a very good idea as to what kind of person I would be. In fact, I have such a good idea that starting with the next paragraph, the rest of this blog until the last couple paragraphs will be written by my atheist self. Now, what follows is absolutely truthful. I will not exaggerate anything and I will not write anything just to make theism look good. Anybody who knows me will read what follows and know that I am being sincere, because there is no way I could write the coming paragraphs in jest. What follows is not a condemnation of atheism either. It is simply me being honest. Obviously I cannot cover in this one blog post how my whole life would be if I were to be an atheist from this moment, but I will hit on a few things that I have been thinking about lately. I would honestly be the following kind of person if I were to stop believing in God…this…very…instant.
I guess I have to start with morality. Morality is horse shit. No, actually horse shit is more real and concrete than morality. Horse shit I can pick up and smell and observe. Morality is just an idea. Just like God is an idea, morality is an idea. If we do not follow a made up God, then why the fuck do I have to follow a made up morality? Morality is for the weak minded. Just like people made up the idea of a God out of ignorance and to safeguard their society, many people today are making up moral laws out of ignorance to reality and to safeguard their society. I find this laughable.
Many popular atheists out there today are hypocritically saying theists need a crutch so they invent God, and then they say we humans need a crutch of morality to help our species flourish. God-damn-it, if I am going to be an atheist, then I am going to be one fullheartedly. (I like the irony of invoking a God I do not believe exists to damn something.) I am not going to replace one crutch for another. I am going to admit that morality is just an idea, not something that must be followed. I am also going to admit that since morality is just an idea, then it can greatly differ from person to person, and that no one person’s idea of morality is any greater than another person’s.
Now, I will admit that the idea of morality can help us survive as a species. However, why the fuck do I care if my species survives? I am not going to survive, why the hell do I care if the rest of my species survives? I will not get a lick of satisfaction knowing that humans will continue to exist after my last neurological impulse. However, I do care about my survival. (For now at least; maybe there will come a day when I do not care about that.) Since I care about my survival, then I absolutely would be implementing my idea of morality. Is this contradictory? Maybe a little. But at least I am not going around trying to tell other people how to live their lives. No. Instead, do you know what I would do? I would find people who agree with my idea of morality and I would live with them. I am sure I could find several thousands who agree with me. I bet I could find millions who would agree with me after they heard my idea and found someone brave enough to act on it.
There is only one aspect to my idea of morality. For those who would like to join me, there is only one moral idea we must follow. Honesty. Truthfulness. Genuineness. That is it. That is the only moral I would say we have to agree on. If you are honest with me, then I can work with you even if we disagree. Now, I have not talked about laws yet. Of course there would be laws we would make, but laws are slightly different than morality. Certainly there can be an overlapping of morality and law, but there is still a slight difference. For instance, some cultures have laws against murder because they think it is immoral to kill. I do not think that. (Hell, there is nothing inherently immoral about being dishonest, because morality is just an idea and nothing concrete.) I would however make a law against murder in our society because I do not want to be murdered. Making that law has nothing to do with morality.
If I kept going on the topic of morality, I would write thousands of more words, so I am just going to stop there and move to the next topic.
How about the elderly? I think it is absurd that we are spending millions and millions on people on death’s doorstep. We should just euthanize them. Why keep them hanging on by a thread? We should teach our society that death is inevitable and for the betterment of the living, all elderly that are sucking from the current younger generation should be euthanized. Allowing millions and millions of dollars to go to keeping dying people alive is robbing young people the one chance they have to fully enjoy their younger days. We are all going to die one day so we better be creating a society where those who have a chance to live several more years can have all the resources possible to live the best fucking life possible. At least when I get old and it is my turn to be euthanized, I can say, “Man that was fun. I am so glad I did not have to waste my younger days caring for someone like I would become.”
Of course I would suggest we keep specified elderly people alive so we can study certain products that may be invented to prolong youth, but they would be more or less test subjects unless the product works.
Ah, marriage. What a troublesome creation. It places incredibly difficult expectations on the members in it. Why do we have something in our society that restricts one of our most primal urges? We keep saying that if someone is born a certain way, then we should not stop them from fulfilling their nature. Well, I was born with genes that cause me to desire sex with women. Many women. Why am I being told that I have to resist my genetic compulsions?
Marriage serves almost no purpose. One might argue that marriage helps with the upbringing of children. But there is no need for marriage to demand parents be responsible for their offspring. Again, without the need of claiming a sense of morality, my society would just make a law that the parents of a child must be responsible for its rearing. Why would I make this law? Because I do not want to have to be bothered with being responsible for helping some resource and time sucking child that I did not bring into this world. If you want to bring that into your life, do it. But do not expect me to unwillingly cover for your decision.
You may have noticed that there has been an increase in the vulgarity of my language. Well, to be perfectly honest, now that I am an atheist, I only restrict vulgarity from my language under certain situations where it would benefit me. But since this is my blog and not one of those situations, then fuck you if you do not like it. Seriously. What is vulgarity? Another idea that people create. There is no mathematical or physical law detailing what is vulgar and what is not. The definition of what is vulgar and what is not changes through time and cultures proving that vulgarity is only an idea and not a concrete thing. So get over it.
There is a passage in a book I used to read called the Holy Bible that says if Jesus Christ never rose from the dead, then people who believed in him were to be pitied above all people. I partly agree with that. Definitely setting your heart on something and living your whole life for it only to find out it was a sham is a pitiable condition. However, this can be said for my fellow atheists who try to tell others to be moral. Morality is not real! It is an idea. I would hate to be an atheist, have absolutely nothing to live for except to enjoy this life, and then restrict certain joys due to someone else’s made up idea that a “better” morality leads to more joy. At least the Christian has something to gain out of being moral. Us atheists have nothing to gain. We live and die just like the rest no matter how moral or immoral we are, and if people curse our name after we are dead, I sure will not give a damn because I will not exist to care. So if I am bound for death, then fuck it, I am going to enjoy life for me. I will not give to the poor unless they will do something for me. I worked hard for my money, and I want to enjoy the fruits of that labor. You may feel all high and mighty by giving to the poor, but I will feel even better driving in my convertible with some hot chick next to me, even more so if that hot chick has the same ideal I have. I also worked hard to get the body I have; you can be damn sure I am going to enjoy the fruit of that too.
I want to clarify that I am not saying that my mode of atheism is the right way. It cannot be the right way because there is no right way to live, there is only a preferred way. The cosmos tells us nothing about right and wrong. The only thing it tells us is that everything is decaying. That means me too. And again, if I am going to eventually decay, then you can bet your shit that I am going to enjoy this life.
I fully acknowledge that atheism is simply the belief that there is no God. However, with that belief, there comes subsequent conclusions. One absolute conclusion must be that there is no such thing as a universal moral code. We are just more highly evolved animals. Evolution, or the cosmos, did not create morality. Evolution created men. Men who try to control their culture create morality. I fully admit that the only reason I would expect my culture to adhere to honesty is because with honesty, things can be accomplished. It is my method of controlling my environment. It may be a little bit contradictory, but I do not care about being a little bit contradictory because life itself is contradictory. We live to inevitably die.
I will place my atheist self to the side now and come back to my Christian self. Not because I came even close to fully detailing my atheist self, but because I have already written about a thousand more words than I would like to. Did you like the person you met in the preceding paragraphs? If you did not, than there is one person you can thank for me not being that way: Jesus Christ. He is the only reason I am not the person from which you just heard. Without Christ, I would be that guy. By the way, I would have no problem being that guy. I had several interruptions in my writing of this blog. I had to go out and about while my mind was in atheist mode. I did not have a problem living it out. I could have gotten used to it. But literally, thank God that I am not that way. Without God, there is nothing you could ever say to me that would make me change my mind about the life I would live as an atheist. I thank God that I am not controlled by my passions. I thank God that I have a reason to control them. I could control them as an atheist, but I would only be fooling myself during that process, and I would know it, and I could not live that way. I also thank God that he gave me physical, sociological, historical, and philosophical evidences for believing in Him.
So I guess there was my own very brief Ecclesiastes. I could have gone longer and been more philosophically descriptive, but I think Solomon did a very good job, so I will refer you to him if you would like further reading. Who knows, maybe some day I will come back and revisit my atheist self in a later blog. For now, here is the end of the matter: God gives purpose to life; He gives hope, a concrete reason to love the unloved, and a concrete reason to follow our inner yearnings of morality. Without God, nothing matters except to enjoy what you can.